Top Ten Signs Your Airline Is Cutting Costs

1. During flight they hit you with additional $200 "landing charge"
2. It's day 4 of your honeymoon and you're still on the tarmac
3. Plane has a "Hyundai" hood ornament
4. When you arrive, Hawaii looks suspiciously like Detroit
5. Inflatable vest replaced with smaller inflatable bow ties
6. Plane can't take off until you lose 20 pounds
7. In-flight entertainment: watching two fat guys fight for an armrest
8. Flight attendants wearing clothes you packed
9. The pilot -- Andy Dick. Seriously, Andy, we love you and want you to get help!
10. During the captain's preflight checklist, you hear him say, "close enough"

The Guardia Civil has beaten me up like Chris Brown did Rihanna

Man...ya'll gonna make me lose my mind, up in here, up in here/ya'll gonna make me go all out up in here, up here/ya'll gonna make me act a fool up in here, up in here/ya'll gonna make me lose my cool, up in here, up here...ONE TWO..meet me outside, meet me outside!!!

The Guardia Civil, has missed up my life for the past eight months by withholding J.'s residency. This nonsense has put my man on freeze, meaning no papers, no job, now work! To make matters they refuse to give us reason for the delay. He was approved for his residency by the Civil Government of this banana republic last June. Please tell me, who is in charge, the government or the police? I am leaning toward the police having the upper hand here. I will give you an example, there is a popular joke here regarding the police; There was a contest between the police of the following countries: the USA, the UK, and Spain to find the biggest rabbit. At the determined hour all of the countries had to present their rabbit, the UK police (read: Scotland Yard) went first and presented a very large rabbit found in the English countryside. They thought surely they will win the prize until they saw the HUGE rabbit the USA presented to the panel. Then all eyes turned to Spain. The Guardia Civil unveiled their find to the surprise and amusement of the panel, they police unveiled an ELEPHANT! 'Our instructions were clear, we asked for you to find the biggest rabbit!', said the head judge of the panel. The captain of the Guardia Civil answered, 'THIS is a RABBIT, just ask it!!!', to this the captain turned to the elephant which was shivering with nervousness and front legs in the air said in a high pitched voice looking at the captain and the panel of judges, 'I'M A RABBIT, I'M A RABBIT!!!'

I no longer think as the Guardia Civil as the police, they are really the mafia...I am sure I am going to get deported for this, but that's how I am feeling right about now.

Over and out....

Thanks to my sister for reminding me of '88/'89

FACEBOOK...

First of all this website is unreal...you can find EVERYBODY and their mama on this site...no for real, I'm talking about people you shared a seat with on the school bus to elementary school. Osama probably has a page, can somebody check that out please, 'cause this dude has too many connections, gives too many videotaped interviews, plus uses a dialysis machine and nobody can find this guy?!? What did I miss?!?Anyhoo...my sister sends me a Hip Hop Old skool track 'gift', from De La Soul, 'Me, Myself, and I'. That song took me back in the day...man, I started reminiscing all the old skool songs...then I thought of 'Warm It Up Kane' I remember my friends and I back in high school would blast that song on repeat in the fifth floor bathroom. Prince, the security guard would try to catch us but we used to outsmart him by running up to the ninth floor bathroom when one of our lookouts alerted us. We would practice dance moves to that song...when you are 14 you have the energy but not necessary the coordination to do the dance moves they were doing in the videos. A dance like the 'Steve Martin' (You Gots To Chill -EPMD video) was easy compared to the complex dance moves of Kid N Play or Scoop and Scrap Lover (Big Daddy Kane's dancers). Heavy-D's dancers were also nice with the steps (although Trouble T-Roy died as a result of a dance move that had gone bad).

Shout to Miz Sydney...you were way too cute in Kid N Play, '2 Hype' video! Remember...Ole,La,Ole,La,Ay...Rollin, rollin, roll with KidNPlay now...'Rollin With Kid and Play'

Soul Food...

Last night I dreamed of fried chicken, crispy brown, thick juicy pieces of fried to a crisp chicken! Man, I miss southern fried chicken with a serving of creamy macaroni and cheese next to it. What I won't do for some collard greens and corn bread...did I fail to mention stuffing with chilled cranberry sauce, let me not forget candied yams and smothered pork chops. My hands are getting clammy and I am having heart palpitations as I write this...I NEED to get back to the States and E-A-T!!!

The Wedding Part II - September 27, 2008

I woke up at seven o´clock with only three hours sleep from the previous night. Was I nervous, perhaps a little, did it show? Nope. I had only one thing on my mind that day....yes, a bride thinks of two thousand things the morning of her wedding, but my biggest concern, better yet fear was of being late. I am notoriously late to everything! I handled everything with clockwork precision and nerves of steel, of course this caused my bridesmaids to be slightly alarmed because I guess they thought I was going to have a meltdown at any moment. My biggest problem was adjusting my heavy veil...of goodness...it looks light but that thing is cumbersome.

I managed to arrive on time to the Kingdom Hall with time to spare! I had to wait in the car around the corner a few minutes getting teased by wedding party, but it was all in good fun. I was suffocating on my pefume, can you believe it?!? I went back to an old favorite of mine from my childhood days...I always loved the smell of the perfume, White Linen by Estee Lauder when I was younger but for some reason in my adulthood, it no longer agrees with me. Normally in Barcelona indian summer with high to moderate humidity I would be sweating buckets, but for some reason I was dry as the Sahara.

Finally the time had come...I was a bit nervous because the elder that was to give the talk told us there was no need to rehearse the night before *raised eyebrow* first off, let me tell you, you need a rehearsal for ANYTHING takes coordination and good timing! yea, its my fault because I didn´t put my foot down on that one, but I was already an exhausted bride the night before. Well, everything went okay...my wedding party managed to get down the aisle and my Dad met me at the front door and walked me down the aisle...okay this is where the rehearsal was needed...my Dad gave me to Julius....no hand shake, 'Take care of her, son!'....no kiss from father to daughter...most important NO LIFTING OF THE VEIL! Julius did not think to lift it either! Oh goodness, I get faint just thinking of it! Soooooo, I sat through the wedding talk with this veil covering my face and inhibiting my already shallow breathing. During the talk the bride and groom have to read scriptures, Julius stood up to read his because he wasn't told that he is not supposed to stand up. I told the brother I was going to sit just where I was : ))

The elder gave a wonderful wedding talk. He mentioned that a marriage is much like a tandem bicycle...a tandem bicycle is a bicycle built for two riders one sitting one behind the other. The person in the front steers with the handbars and the one behind helps by pedaling the bicycle. So, Jules is in the front and of course, I am behind pedaling dispensing advice, suggestions, and unsolicited opinions which my husband is most grateful to receive *smirk*.

The talk winds down and we get to the vows...remember we didn´t rehearse....I had no idea what I will be expected to say but I was thinking the brother would ask us to repeat very other word, not give us long passages to memorize and repeat on the spot in front of an audience on our biggest and most special day. Well, you can figure out what happened. I butchered my vows and got a case of the giggles to boot! Vows...oaths...promises...they should be said in a somber way due to its solemn nature...and there I am standing there holding my belly.....hahaha! Pathetic!

We managed to get through the wedding talk and prayer...now, time to go to the restaurant to have a lunch reception with close friends and family for the first reception....later pictures....then, the evening reception....

The Wedding Part I (Legal Wedding)

Yea, that´s my Dad nervously handing me the ring to slip on Julius´ finger...so, this is it...the legal wedding. Here in Spain, you must prove you really want to get married because I cannot see any other reason you have to jump over so many bureaucratic hurdles and through so many hoops in order to get married. Julius and I were very fortunate to get married in September because most couples have a one year wait, sometimes longer!

We were married in a small town up the coast called Vilassar de Mar, only a few kilometers outside of Barcelona, the funny and long-winded Mayor married us. He doesn´t speak English and can manage with a little Castellaño, his mother tongue is the regional language, Catalan. Julius understands Catalan, as for me, *chuckling* I understand few words...so our little ceremony required an English translator for the bride and her family. Julius´ cousin, Walters, a long-time resident of Catalunya and fluent speaker of Catalan was our translator.

We were legally married at noon on September 25, 2008. The bride managed to keep cool and tear free -probably because she was concentrating so hard on the translation- all went rather smoothly. The groom was beaming like a kid in a candy store.

We took a few pictures at the beach and raced back to Barcelona because we had to finish our last minute preparations for the BIG wedding on Saturday, the 27th!

The weather couldn´t have been more perfect!

: ))

The Story of Adriana and Julius

Many have wondered and asked… how did these two come together? How did their story begin?

Julius arrived in Barcelona in December 2004 after a two year stay in Libya. He had many formidable challenges to face in Spain, but this determined young man began to take on the tasks of learning a new language, making new friends, and making himself a home in Barcelona.

Then in the summer of 2006, something changed Julius' life…

In July 2006, Adriana arrived in Barcelona after having spent over a year in Rome. She too had many challenges ahead of her…for example…when was the best time of day to go to the beach? Should she preach in Torre Baro or Fondo? Yes, she faced SO many challenges in this new country but she was a survivor and determined to remain in Barcelona!

Julius longed to meet the ‘new’ sister in the congregation, but he couldn’t seem to gather the nerve to approach her. He just thought to himself, ‘One day, I will say something…one day *heavy sigh!*.’

Adriana quickly found out life as an English teacher wasn’t nearly as exciting, adventuresome, and rewarding as all of the TEFL programs promised! She was one private student cancellation away from begging for a meal on Las Ramblas. She knew she had to make a tough decision and that was to leave her beloved Barcelona and go to another E.U. country for reasons of survival.

In the summer of 2007, Adriana returned to Barcelona after having lived in Germany, and unbeknownst to her she made the heart of one young man very happy. He earnestly hoped for the day he would see the woman he had fallen in love with, but his hopes grew dimmer and dimmer until that hot summer day he saw her again. ‘What can I say to her? Is she seeing someone?’ these questions pestered him relentlessly. Julius knew he had to say something, but every time he saw her, the words would linger in his heart before finally getting caught in his throat. He could only imagine what could happen if and when he’d speak to her…

(Julius humming the lyrics to Just My Imagination- The Temptations)

Adriana, known for her strength, independence, and straightforwardness was determined to get her footing in Barcelona and settle down in a place she considered a ‘second home’. Although, she did not know of the feelings of Julius, she too was thinking of matters of the heart...wondering when she would meet that special someone….

(Adriana whistling...I am Ready For Love – India Arie)

For the next five months, Julius watched and waited…and...waited
…until the right opportunity presented itself. During those long months a calm and cool Julius carefully guarded his feelings, but his eyes were continually fixed on the woman that captured his heart…and all the while he thought….

(playing softly in the background...I Wanna Get Next to You - Rolls Royce)

On a cold December evening in a warm cafe, Julius finally met with Adriana to tell her how deep his feelings had become for her and in hopes she would give a shy, but nice, likeable guy like himself a chance. The poor girl, nearly fell out of her chair upon hearing the words of love and admiration being uttered by…wait! What’s his name…yea, Julius….nice name. ‘No way! I didn’t think he even knew I existed,’ she thought to herself.

‘Wait a minute, why does he have that look on his face? Is he trying to read my thoughts? Oh, no…he ‘s just nervous! Whew!’ she dabbed a napkin to her brow and wiped imaginary breadcrumbs from her skirt as she pondered, ‘Does this guy really know me? Does he know a woman like me?’

(the intro to 'Woman Like Me' – Beyonce stirs Adriana to re-evaluate her situation)

‘No! No! No! He’s not my type…we’re so different...we’re so, so…hold on a minute...Then, she thought of his forward but sincere approach, his love for her, his courage, and his polite manner. ‘Ummm, I should not give this up so quickly, let me see what this guy is about,’ she thought.

This humble, handsome, and honest unassuming young man courted the woman he loved with the intentions of getting her to fall for him…and as the saying goes…the bigger they are, the harder they fall! She was so smitten by her new beau she could hardly contain herself. Soon she was humming….

(`Best Is Yet To Come – Nancy Wilson')

On May 17, after a long conversation with Adriana’s parents via telephone and in the presence of close friends Julius promised his beloved to love her for the rest of his life and proposed marriage. Adriana readily accepted spending the rest of her life with the man she had grown to love …truly, deeply, madly.

BACK in BARCELONA

Woo-hoo! I´m back! I´m back!

Wait a second...I need a job! I need a place to stay! Ok, if it doesn´t work this time, then I am leaving for good...no more returns (yea, right who am I kidding)?

Everyone knows, it is next to impossible to find work in the middle of summer in Barcelona, but I was going to give it a shot. I funny thing I found work in Italy, so I thought maybe I was going to have to go to work as a nanny in Italy over the summer and return to Barcelona to teach English in September/October.

I received a call about a Spanish family that was looking for a tutor/nanny in Barcelona and the pay and hours were excellent! I couldn´t believe it...I knew I was meant to be back here....it was only much later that I realized how right I was!

Frankfurt & Munich

On March 2006, I left Barcelona to Germany to pursue residency and a work permit in the E.U. I really liked Barcelona, so this was a tough decision to make, but I was struggling to remain in Barcelona and work legally.

I arrived in Frankfurt on a cold, blustery evening and met my friend Feli. I stayed with her for a few weeks as I combed the city looking for work, going on interviews at English institutions and meeting with self-employed teachers wiling to give me a few tips on how to manage in Germany. The first week, I started to slowly slip into a mild depression due to the language, the weather, and my lack of contacts and stability. I had a job offer in Munich as a kindergarten teacher, but I didn´t know a soul there and I was relunctant to move there. Two weeks later, I was on a train headed for Munich.

Munich is one of the most beautiful cities I have ever seen. It is something out of a fairytale, but the day I arrived it was cold, windy, and snowing...my heartached for Barcelona and warm sunshine.

I worked in Munich as a kindergarten teacher at a small, wonderful kindergarten called Die Zappels. Before I tell you about the kindergarten, first let me tell you about my living accommodations. When I arrived in Munich, I didn´t have a place to live....yes, a job, but no place to live. Die Zappels is a parent-initative kindergarten, that basically means the parents are responsible for everything...the building, the hiring of teachers, the structure, the food served, etc. You get the picture. They were supposed to help me find housing in Munich, but by the time I arrived, they had not secured housing, so basically I was homeless! I stayed with one family for one weekend, then stayed at their neighbor´s apartment for the rest of the week (she worked in Cologne during the week). This went on for two weeks and then I had to find another place to stay. One of the parent´s had an American friend, I will call him Dave, that had a room to rent, but it wouldn´t be available for weeks, so he kindly spoke to an acquaintance of his to see if he had a room available to rent for a few weeks. This man, I will call him John, called me and told me he spoke with Dave, and he would be more than happy to help. We made an appointment to meet at 9am on Saturday at his apartment *sigh!* it went downhill from there.

I arrived at Dave´s apartment at 9:10 on Saturday. My back was hurting from sleeping on a couch for over two weeks, so I wasn´t in the greatest of moods, but I managed a cheery smile when Dave answered the door and led me into the apartment. He introduced me to one of the other tenants that lived there with his wife. Then Dave showed me to the kitchen, offered me a seat, proceeded to make a cup(s) of tea and poured out his life story for two and a half hours *blank stare* My left foot fell asleep and I almost followed suit but pity for this man kept me awake. I kept asking myself, 'How do you get yourself into these situations?' Dave told me about his first wife leaving him when he lost his fortune. His second wife (she was a nurse, they met while he was the hospital recuperating from surgery, I´m leaning toward a lobotomy) left him after 11 years of marriage, she went to church and never came back after the services! *blank stare* you think Davey-boy would learn, oh no! he was trying to get wife number three..she was a woman he met while on holiday in Spain, Granada to be exact. The problem was she was a total psycho case and he regaled me of stories of this woman´s psychotic exploits...ok, at this point my stomach was churning from hunger and anxiety and I really needed to stand up so I could get blood circulating to my left foot again. Just when Dave took a quick breath to launch into yet another story, I blurted out I needed to see the room he was renting because I had an appointment at noon and I was afraid I was going to be late if we didn´t hurry along. Molasses on a cold Vermont morning move faster than Dave, he slid out his chair and stood up like a man who just finished a seven course meal, I was just waiting for him to belch for effect. Ten minutes later (an eternity for me at that point) we made it to the room. It was a charming, well lit room and I immediately liked it. We discussed the move in/out date, date of key exchange, etc. Then ole´Davey says 30 minutes later, `Oh yeah, remember I told you I go down to the church to do volunteer work´ I nodded my head and murmured `uh-huh´ as I fished in my bag to get my mobile phone to call my co-worker to notify her I would be late for our noon appointment. Davey continued,`Well, yeah, I also help out some people too, I let a guy stay here overnight, he sleeps in the kitchen.´ Ok, my mobile slips out my hand back into my bag as my brain tried to register what this man just told me....did this man just say that he allows a homeless man to sleep in the kitchen?!? I am supposed to step over a homeless man to make myself a cup of tea..oh, I can just hsee the scenario....me: `uh, excuse me, I just need to get over to the cups to make myself some tea.´ homeless guy: sniffing and shuffling out of the way. I snapped back to my senses and nodded numbly as I made my way for the front door.

I thought he would leave me at the front door, but he wanted to escort me to the metro station. The man talked as if he was allergic to silence...my mind was racing with thoughts on where I was going to live, I didn´t have anymore options, but I wasn´t to live in a place that doubled as a part-time homeless shelter.

I met with my co-workers that Saturday afternoon and explained my situation. We were all numb with disbelief. I stayed at the apartment of one my co-workers until another solution could be reached. That meant another sofa...*sigh*

One of the parent´s at the kindergarten was taking his family to South Africa for a three week holiday and offered his home for that period of time. I seized the opportunity and moved in while the family was away.

I finally moved into the room John was renting out in mid May...almost two months after arriving in May! I shared the apartment with two other students, John and his wife lived in an apartment around the corner from the rental.

June 2007...I was ready to leave Germany! I had enough of moving around, parents squabbling over power issues at a kindergarten...a kindergarten?!?and sharing an apartment with a whining Barbie that kept a refrigerator in her room because she couldn´t risk sharing with strangers and a long-haired 20-something waiter that didn´t know the meaning of clean and it´s purpose in shared spaces. On May 30, I handed in resignation letter and a month later I was on a plane back to Barcelona (breathing easier but alot heavier).