- During flight they hit you with additional $200 "landing charge"
- It's day 4 of your honeymoon and you're still on the tarmac
- Plane has a "Hyundai" hood ornament
- When you arrive, Hawaii looks suspiciously like Detroit
- Inflatable vest replaced with smaller inflatable bow ties
- Plane can't take off until you lose 20 pounds
- In-flight entertainment: watching two fat guys fight for an armrest
- Flight attendants wearing clothes you packed
- The pilot -- Andy Dick. Seriously, Andy, we love you and want you to get help!
- During the captain's preflight checklist, you hear him say, "close enough"
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Top Ten Signs Your Airline Is Cutting Costs
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
The Guardia Civil has beaten me up like Chris Brown did Rihanna
Man...ya'll gonna make me lose my mind, up in here, up in here/ya'll gonna make me go all out up in here, up here/ya'll gonna make me act a fool up in here, up in here/ya'll gonna make me lose my cool, up in here, up here...ONE TWO..meet me outside, meet me outside!!!
The Guardia Civil, has missed up my life for the past eight months by withholding J.'s residency. This nonsense has put my man on freeze, meaning no papers, no job, now work! To make matters they refuse to give us reason for the delay. He was approved for his residency by the Civil Government of this banana republic last June. Please tell me, who is in charge, the government or the police? I am leaning toward the police having the upper hand here. I will give you an example, there is a popular joke here regarding the police; There was a contest between the police of the following countries: the USA, the UK, and Spain to find the biggest rabbit. At the determined hour all of the countries had to present their rabbit, the UK police (read: Scotland Yard) went first and presented a very large rabbit found in the English countryside. They thought surely they will win the prize until they saw the HUGE rabbit the USA presented to the panel. Then all eyes turned to Spain. The Guardia Civil unveiled their find to the surprise and amusement of the panel, they police unveiled an ELEPHANT! 'Our instructions were clear, we asked for you to find the biggest rabbit!', said the head judge of the panel. The captain of the Guardia Civil answered, 'THIS is a RABBIT, just ask it!!!', to this the captain turned to the elephant which was shivering with nervousness and front legs in the air said in a high pitched voice looking at the captain and the panel of judges, 'I'M A RABBIT, I'M A RABBIT!!!'
I no longer think as the Guardia Civil as the police, they are really the mafia...I am sure I am going to get deported for this, but that's how I am feeling right about now.
Over and out....
The Guardia Civil, has missed up my life for the past eight months by withholding J.'s residency. This nonsense has put my man on freeze, meaning no papers, no job, now work! To make matters they refuse to give us reason for the delay. He was approved for his residency by the Civil Government of this banana republic last June. Please tell me, who is in charge, the government or the police? I am leaning toward the police having the upper hand here. I will give you an example, there is a popular joke here regarding the police; There was a contest between the police of the following countries: the USA, the UK, and Spain to find the biggest rabbit. At the determined hour all of the countries had to present their rabbit, the UK police (read: Scotland Yard) went first and presented a very large rabbit found in the English countryside. They thought surely they will win the prize until they saw the HUGE rabbit the USA presented to the panel. Then all eyes turned to Spain. The Guardia Civil unveiled their find to the surprise and amusement of the panel, they police unveiled an ELEPHANT! 'Our instructions were clear, we asked for you to find the biggest rabbit!', said the head judge of the panel. The captain of the Guardia Civil answered, 'THIS is a RABBIT, just ask it!!!', to this the captain turned to the elephant which was shivering with nervousness and front legs in the air said in a high pitched voice looking at the captain and the panel of judges, 'I'M A RABBIT, I'M A RABBIT!!!'
I no longer think as the Guardia Civil as the police, they are really the mafia...I am sure I am going to get deported for this, but that's how I am feeling right about now.
Over and out....
Saturday, February 07, 2009
Thanks to my sister for reminding me of '88/'89
FACEBOOK...
First of all this website is unreal...you can find EVERYBODY and their mama on this site...no for real, I'm talking about people you shared a seat with on the school bus to elementary school. Osama probably has a page, can somebody check that out please, 'cause this dude has too many connections, gives too many videotaped interviews, plus uses a dialysis machine and nobody can find this guy?!? What did I miss?!?Anyhoo...my sister sends me a Hip Hop Old skool track 'gift', from De La Soul, 'Me, Myself, and I'. That song took me back in the day...man, I started reminiscing all the old skool songs...then I thought of 'Warm It Up Kane' I remember my friends and I back in high school would blast that song on repeat in the fifth floor bathroom. Prince, the security guard would try to catch us but we used to outsmart him by running up to the ninth floor bathroom when one of our lookouts alerted us. We would practice dance moves to that song...when you are 14 you have the energy but not necessary the coordination to do the dance moves they were doing in the videos. A dance like the 'Steve Martin' (You Gots To Chill -EPMD video) was easy compared to the complex dance moves of Kid N Play or Scoop and Scrap Lover (Big Daddy Kane's dancers). Heavy-D's dancers were also nice with the steps (although Trouble T-Roy died as a result of a dance move that had gone bad).
Shout to Miz Sydney...you were way too cute in Kid N Play, '2 Hype' video! Remember...Ole,La,Ole,La,Ay...Rollin, rollin, roll with KidNPlay now...'Rollin With Kid and Play'
First of all this website is unreal...you can find EVERYBODY and their mama on this site...no for real, I'm talking about people you shared a seat with on the school bus to elementary school. Osama probably has a page, can somebody check that out please, 'cause this dude has too many connections, gives too many videotaped interviews, plus uses a dialysis machine and nobody can find this guy?!? What did I miss?!?Anyhoo...my sister sends me a Hip Hop Old skool track 'gift', from De La Soul, 'Me, Myself, and I'. That song took me back in the day...man, I started reminiscing all the old skool songs...then I thought of 'Warm It Up Kane' I remember my friends and I back in high school would blast that song on repeat in the fifth floor bathroom. Prince, the security guard would try to catch us but we used to outsmart him by running up to the ninth floor bathroom when one of our lookouts alerted us. We would practice dance moves to that song...when you are 14 you have the energy but not necessary the coordination to do the dance moves they were doing in the videos. A dance like the 'Steve Martin' (You Gots To Chill -EPMD video) was easy compared to the complex dance moves of Kid N Play or Scoop and Scrap Lover (Big Daddy Kane's dancers). Heavy-D's dancers were also nice with the steps (although Trouble T-Roy died as a result of a dance move that had gone bad).
Shout to Miz Sydney...you were way too cute in Kid N Play, '2 Hype' video! Remember...Ole,La,Ole,La,Ay...Rollin, rollin, roll with KidNPlay now...'Rollin With Kid and Play'
Soul Food...
Last night I dreamed of fried chicken, crispy brown, thick juicy pieces of fried to a crisp chicken! Man, I miss southern fried chicken with a serving of creamy macaroni and cheese next to it. What I won't do for some collard greens and corn bread...did I fail to mention stuffing with chilled cranberry sauce, let me not forget candied yams and smothered pork chops. My hands are getting clammy and I am having heart palpitations as I write this...I NEED to get back to the States and E-A-T!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
